Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Ramblings of a Curve

Hello?  Anyone still read this thing?
Well, it looks like its been nearly a year, and I usually can be found posting nonsense and random photos on Instagram and Facebook.  I've had some thoughts in my head that I've wanted to get out, and mostly for me to hear me say it out loud, so here it goes.
    What is the ultimate body image?  Why do we obsess so much with it?  So I have some hot friends, like really hot- like have won competitions in bikini and figure competitions hot.  My work out buddy is one of those natural beauties that wakes up, jumps in the shower, runs a comb thru her hair and is fabulous.  She also has worked really hard and has an amazing body to show for it.  She will also down a cheeseburger without worry.  Love it, and she is very encouraging to work out with.
   Back in the day, I sported a 6 pack and could kick some serious a## if I wanted.  Well, life,
 3 kids a couple of very stressful years took its tolls on my body and my mental state.  I suffered from knee and ankle injuries, as well as a genetically inherited bad pelvis/ hips.  I did physical therapy with little help, and then took things into my own hands.  I took up Yoga, occasional elliptical exercises and found that Yoga did some serious help to my ailments.  I lost a couple pounds, but gained a lot of lost strength back.  It came time to take it to the next level: lifting weights.  At first it was tough realizing how far I let myself go, but with great workout partners I pushed forward.  I rocked it- like sometime 6 days a week I would be in the gym.  I logged my food, made better choices- aaannnd.... found I gained 5 lbs.  I knew this would happen because of all the amazing new muscle I built, so I pushed forward.
  So here I am, I still lift weights/ run/ walk on the treadmill at least 3 times a week.  I don't eat perfect, but I bet I eat healthier than a lot of people out there.  And I still have not lost any weight, even the lbs I gained.  My pants fit better, my muffin tops are gone, my butt has perked up-  I am not 'skinny', but I am healthy, and I am strong.
  Do I want to be skinny?  What perfection do I really want to achieve?   What is healthy anyway?
 According to BMI, I am overweight.  According to labs:  My cholesterol and other lab results show that I am healthy.  My body fat was checked and was logged at 23- which isn't athletic, but in the healthy range.
  One good thing out of getting older and rounder?  Yes, I'm going to say it:  Boobs.  I have boobs now.  Never before (other than pregnancy/ nursing) have I had boobs, and I'm not gonna lie- I like them.  Should I say it one more time for those uncomfortable with that?  Boobs.  Deal with it. ;)
    Frustrated one day realizing I wasn't that beautiful model material, and never would be- my Handsome hubby (who greets me everyday "hello Beautiful") said "You know I think you are gorgeous, and you may not be a VS Supermodel- but I always think of you in the same bracket as Tina Fey/ Kristen Wiig.  Your pretty, can look ridiculous if you want, and are hilarious, and have a fun loving personality."  Honestly- that was the best compliment I have ever received- because they are my heros, I found my niche.
  Body image is a crazy thing that every single person deals with, every.single.oerson.  Too big, too small, short, tall, too skinny, too round etc etc.  There are so many ads and campaigns out there trying to reach the youth (and adults alike) to love their bodies.  So lets do it.  
  The best thing I ever did with my self confidence, was to take a Belly Dancing class.  The instructor is an amazing woman, very loving and accepting.  She is all about embracing ourselves, inside and out, loving ourselves and our bodies .... and learning how to shake it.  I wish everyone had that experience.
   So here I am, a 33 1/2 yr old woman, I am 5'8", 164 lbs... I can bench press 110( possibly more) , squat 175, and can shake what my Mamma gave me like nothing else, and I have a blast doing it.  I still fight with attaining a better perfect figure- but I'm tired of the mental battle, I think its causing more stress than needed.
    I'm not perfect, but striving for perfection is a useless and sad journey/ goal that will never be reached.
  So find yourself, your happiness, if you aren't there, find a way to be there.  The mental journey is the hardest.  Love yourself now.  Seriously. Don't wait until "you loose 5 more lbs"... love yourself now.

      ...The problem with a good selfie, is the fact that I had to post a selfie.....


  1. Yep, still reading! And I think you're beautiful and totally awesome.

  2. I'm not quite (or really near) where you're at, but I think I've accepted that I'm not model material either. But what I have found, is that when I exercise, I feel more like I'm alive. And the hormones that have taken over (like being invaded by a PMS alien) have also blessed me with boobs. Not quite used to them yet, but when I dress up they look pretty good. I finally know what cleavage is...